Yes, you read that right! This is not couples therapy, and it's not family therapy. It's friendship therapy. Friendships are so important, a major life source. But sometimes the ones that bring us joy—our ‘ride or dies’—can also make us feel sad, confused, and alone.
Are you and your friend struggling to maintain a strong, stable, supportive, and mutually satisfactory friendship? You may have a lot of positive feelings for each other—you may really love this person—but can’t seem to get on the same page. This friendship is not a romantic relationship but that doesn’t make it any less valuable and doesn’t mean there isn’t risk involved, or loss. Maybe it’s one of the most important relationships in your life. Maybe it is the most important relationship you’ve ever had.
In this type of therapy, my style is to listen to the salient issues at hand—what do each of you think is going on? Together we prioritize the things you’d like to address. Through therapy, we work to gain a deeper understanding of your attachment styles, personality traits, and communication styles, among other things, to work toward you both understanding and seeing each other. This oftentimes means being able to recognize your similarities and differences, which is not always easy. It can be helpful to have a professional third party witness your experiences and help navigate tough and sensitive conversations.
Although this is not typical couples or family therapy work, I operate like a couples or family therapist in that I strive to see both sides of the story, no matter who makes the initial phone call.
Tell me more I completed my doctoral dissertation on friendship; specifically, how it impacts quality of life. I studied the complex history of friendships, and I was struck by how powerful friendship has proven across time; it’s such a constant. It’s always been there. And friendships are powerful. I believe in supporting and nurturing these types of relationships. I approach this work with an eclectic lens, utilizing psychodynamic, relational, culturally sensitive, attachment and EFT (commonly used in couples work) theory and concepts.
It isn't uncommon for me to hear people say, "I am x way with my friends, but y way with my partner," and I think about statements like this as it pertains to attachment similarities and differences within different types of partnerships.
How do I get started? Assuming you are reading this without your friend nearby, you can call them and discuss to see if they are interested in friendship therapy. If they are open, then I am happy to do a brief 15-minute consultation for free to see if it could be a good fit. You can both call me at the same time, or I can speak to one person.
Who pays? Ideally, the therapy price would be split in half. As an out of network provider, I do not accept insurance at this time.
Is this virtual or in-person? Preferably, we would meet in person a few times, and then move toward virtual sessions (at this time, my in-person availability is limited). Open to conversation around these details.
How often do we go? I am structuring this type of work from a short-term model; eight sessions or so.